Former Xavier College Prep runner Jessica Tonn will be writing a weekly blog (schedule permitting) for Arizona Milesplit. While at Xavier Jessica won 2 Cross Country State Titles and 10 Track and Field State Titles winning the 1600 and the 3200 all four years. Jessica also qualified for Foot Locker Nationals all four years finishing with a top 10 finish her junior year.
Jessica holds the Arizona freshman (10:37.23) and sophomore (10:30.23) record in the 3200 and the sophomore record in the 1600 (4:50.42) which is also an Arizona All Time #2 mark. She also has the Arizona #3 all time mark of 10:25.85 in the 3200 and ran a 10:24.47 for 2 miles.
Check back weekly to read JTonn's Milesplit Blog!!
High School Track PR's : College Track PR's
1600: 4:50.42 1500: 4:23.64 (outdoor)
3200: 10:25.85 3,000: 9:10.16 (indoor)
800: 2:14.70 5,000: 15:54.90 (outdoor)
2 Mile: 10:24.57 10,000: 34:41.68 (outdoor)
BLOG POST #5
Nerves.
First of all, I want to thank those of you who e-mailed me in the past week; I really enjoy the feedback and having the chance to get to know a few names of my readers! I did receive a few e-mails that wanted me to write in regard to how I handle nerves before workouts, racing, etc. But to do so, I think I need to take you on a little journey…
When I was in 6th and 7th grade I began to race in USATF cross country and track meets. I think my first year or so of running and racing competitively was for the pure enjoyment I developed for the sport. I didn’t run for a time or to get a medal with a blue ribbon draped around my neck. All of those aspects were a byproduct; I ran because it was fun, a different fun than soccer was. But then I actually became good and those around me began to see my true talent – my coaches, my parents, and eventually myself. This is when running changed.
Running was no longer an extracurricular, an activity I just did after school or a sport I just chose to replace soccer, it became my life. I remember starting to get nervous for races because I knew there were expectations that weren’t necessarily there before. My times started to matter and I began to learn the names of girls I was expected to race and the times they had run – I became competitive.
I was so young when this whole transition took place, and I think because of my young age I didn’t know how to handle a sport where the expectations only fell on my shoulders and not on the shoulders of my fellow teammates, as it was in soccer. After every race there would be a time and place that followed only my name on a results sheet and, to be honest, I think that kind of scared the you-know-what out of me.
(Photo Left: Freshman year at Border Wars)
I became a nervous wreck before races (my mom could attest to this)– I couldn’t sleep the night prior to a race, I couldn’t eat food and if I did I couldn’t keep it down, couldn’t even listen to music because I knew I was only listening to music to try and distract myself from how nervous I was. I even remember strategizing ways in which I could get out of racing. I was getting bad. I remember the conversations upon conversations I had with my parents where they would reassure me and tell me that I didn’t have to run if I didn’t enjoy running. But the problem was that I did, I loved to run… I just didn’t love to race.
I knew deep down, even in my early teens, that running was a sport I was going to do for many, many years to come. I began to learn that racing was an inevitable part of running that I needed to accept and embrace. As I grew as a runner throughout middle school, I began to control my nerves and when I became a member of a team.....an actual team that I could call my own in high school, I began to run and race for something bigger than myself.
High school is an interesting stage; it is kind of like the purgatory of your schooling career in that you are still really young and naïve and don’t yet need to worry about the college years ahead, but you honestly need to have it on the brain if you have certain colleges on your mind. I was always different from my friends in the regard that I had an outlet, running, that showed me early on in high school that I needed to start working hard "now" to get where I wanted to be. Running showed me that I was different than most of the girls in plaid skirts that surrounded me, because I could really do something special if I committed 100%. Running could take me places I never thought were possible.
Racing was really fun in high school; I was winning races, training with great teammates, and had rock star coaches. Once junior year hit, another transition took place. I knew I had to start hitting certain marks and certain places in races because I wanted so badly to be a part of a program like Stanford. These new expectations were undoubtedly scary at first and I wasn’t sure how to manage the nerves and pressure I felt going into every race, because with every race that meant time was running out to become a blip on college coaches’ radars. Luckily, my coaches, Jeff Messer and Dave Van Sickle, knew how to calm me down. Coach Messer provided the scientifically assembled workout plan(s) that would get me to that high level, and Coach Van Sickle tamed my crazy and made sure I was still having a blast. They were the perfect balance.
Freshman Year with Coach Messer
High school is when I really came in to my own as a runner. I gained momentum junior year that carried me into senior year where I multiplied the confidence I had the year prior. I started to see the hard work and discipline paying off and I knew that if I just believed in myself I would run my way into one of the best programs the nation could offer.
College is a whole new ball game. Like I said in my last post, running really does become your job. Freshman and sophomore year at Stanford I wasn’t doing my job because I knew deep down that I wasn’t doing everything outside of practice that would prepare me to race to the ability I knew I could. Thus, I experienced nerves that I knew stemmed from knowing that I was cutting corners. I think a lot of us have a hard time admitting that we could be doing things better outside of practice, but once you commit to a life style change, the nerves begin to dissipate with each great workout and race.
I think you need to ask your self, “what am I really nervous about?” Is it just straight up racing? Is it the fear of not racing well, the fear of actually racing well, the competition, or the presumed expectation(s)? You need to focus on the variables you can control: your mindset and attitude, your training, what you are doing outside of practice, sleep, nutrition, etc. Don’t worry about the variables you can’t control: the weather on race day or other girls or guys who are on the line next to you. Focus on the mission that you and your teammates are set out to accomplish, just as you do in workouts or in practice when there is no starting gun and no finishing tape. Just do you.
I know it really isn’t helpful to say that nerves become more controllable with age, but they really do. Don’t get me wrong, I still get nervous before every race, but I know that those nerves are excitement – the excitement of knowing I have done everything in my power to set myself up to kick total ass. It is the best feeling to toe the line knowing that you are fit, strong, and can run exceptionally well even if everything doesn’t go as planned. But, you have to commit to a lifestyle that makes this possible.
My coach always says that we want to be the team that has fun when things are tough and that it’s always easy to run well when everything goes your way. But now we embrace adversity and get excited to compete and throw ourselves into the mix in any race, anywhere, any time, and in any conditions. We are tearing into opportunities left and right because we are confident in each other and ourselves. Nerves are a variable that you can control; you just have to find the best way that works for you!
As always, please feel free to e-mail me at jtonn92@stanford.edu!
- JTonn
